Extraordinary Lives by India Hicks & “39 Years of Silence” by Rita Tanos

 

Rita Tanos  _J7A2651

Rita Tanos:  Extraordinary Lives!   by India Hicks  –    ’39 Years of Silence’

 

I am honored and deeply grateful to India Hicks for sharing my story with the world.

This is the fist time in four decades of my life that I have openly shared my story of loss, grief, and transformation.  While it is heartbreaking, it is also heartwarming.  

 

“Rita is one unstoppable gal. Her courage, resilience, tenacity and imagination bowl me over. She proves just how strong and capable we all can be – even when faced with the most terrible misfortune.”

~ India Hicks

Post:

Extraordinary Lives: Rita Tanos

 

’39 Years of Silence’ is an important book about adoption, the right to life, and the right to know the Truth about oneself.  This book will serve to enlighten and educate people with regard to the complexities and implications of adoption.  It will also become a guide to law makers, attorneys, counselors, and students of the adoption process.  Most importantly, ’39 Years of Silence’ will serve to heal millions of Birthmothers and Adopted Children who have experienced this sort of loss, and shed light and truth to everyone touched by adoption.  And I believe it will change legislation in States like Florida that are still ‘closed’ States, where birth records remain sealed under lock and key, hidden away by an antiqued belief system that forbids children and mothers to know each other, or their medical history.  

 

’39 Years of Silence’ is a book that reflects the lives of millions of silenced birthmother’s and their adopted children around the world during these dark ages of adoption.  Today in 2016, there are more than 6 million birthmothers and adopted children in the U.S. alone who remain silenced by the shame and secrecy of giving up their child to adoption. 

 

As an unwed pregnant mother in 1969, I was coerced into silence and surrendering my child and placing her for adoption.  Ostracized by society’s moral compass, it was forbidden to keep your baby and raise them.  Motherhood was synonymous with marriage.  The moral code and social ethics of the day gave Birthmothers one of two choices:  either kill and abort your baby illegally, or give them up for adoption.  To this very day in 2016, State records remain sealed, hidden and locked away by shame, silence, and secrecy in an antiquated and dark belief system that prevents Birthmothers and their Adopted Children from connecting with each other.  Even health records are sealed in the State of Florida, where I gave birth to my daughter.  After many years of searching, I finally wrote a letter to then Governor Jeb Bush, asking him to open up the sealed files so my child and I could finally find each other.  He said no.  And his letter is in my book. 

 

While laws have changed over the years in many States, these dark ages of adoption still hold these antiquated belief systems in place, where records remain sealed and locked away with deep scars, and silenced secrets for millions of children and mothers around the world.  Their voice is longing to be heard.  

 

I was forced into hiding and thrown into the outcast role with my choiceless choice,  silenced by shame and secrecy.  I became the “nameless, faceless, voiceless mother” who was not allowed to keep my baby.  As a young Birthmother I was silenced by the most traumatic event in my life. . . giving birth to my beautiful baby and then being asked to surrender her at birth.  How does a mother separate from her own child?  

 

It left a hole in my heart that pierced by very existence.  Like two atoms splitting in half, I was split in two, hiding from my own feelings so well that I could not find myself.  My unprocessed emotional pain and loss became hidden from my conscious awareness.  Even the grief of losing my own child was not allowed to be expressed, and she was alive, living somewhere else, without me.  

 

Four decades of silence later, after finding my daughter and committing to a path of self-transformation, I finally gave way to the divinity of my powerlessness to change anything.  I entered into the mysterious domain of being transformed in desolation, though my darkest hours.  The healing balm of forgiveness and acceptance became the portal to deep transformation in the midst of my greatest struggle.  I learned to trust again.  I learned to love again.  I learned to live again, even after losing my child a second time.

 

Millions of Birthmother’s from the 1960’s to present day have suffered in silence, shame and secrecy, without ever uttering a single word about the depths of their heartbreak and sacrifice.  They’ve buried their story somewhere in the deepest, darkest night of secrets, feeling terribly alone, unworthy, and silenced by shame.  Their ‘secret’ became the event in their life that defined them, and it also silenced them.  I am one of these women.  But I am one of the lucky ones who found my child and had a three year relationship with her.  Through every obstacle I forged ahead.  I never gave up.  Something deep within me knew it was possible to find my child and have a relationship with her.  Thank God I did!

 

My transformation of consciousness arrived in the form of an epiphany while on spiritual retreat in Santa Barbara, just days before the third attempt to meet my daughter.  When her cancellation came, once again in the eleventh hour, instead of breakdown, it lead to breakthrough and an extraordinary peace that surpasses all understanding.   There are no words to describe this extraordinary peace and the power of Love, but I know for sure that my daughter felt it too.  A year before she passed through the veils she told me that she had never known or felt such unconditional love in her life until she found me.  Thank God she felt my love for her.  In her heart of hearts, she knew the power of this love.

 

’39 Years of Silence’ is a profound book that is ready to find a leading New York Publisher and Documentary Film Maker.  It is my living Legacy and I’m certain it has the power to heal millions of lives affected by adoption. 

Even famous people like Oprah have been affected by adoption.  Her mother was silenced by shame afer giving up her child to adoption and only recently revealed the truth to Oprah.  She never knew she had a sister.    

Louise Hay, the well known publishing giant of self-help books gave up her baby to adoption when she was a teenager.  So many women have had to bear this kind of loss and grief in utter secrecy.  Why?  The social stigma and the shame of giving up your own child to adoption, no matter what the circumstances, leave a deep inner scar inside the soul of every woman who has surrendered their baby.  

It’s 2016!  It’s time to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  There is work to be done and adoption reform has a long way to go.  There are still closed States where records remain sealed and hidden.  It’s the law. . . and these antiquated belief systems keep these records sealed.  Every child has the right to know the Truth about themselves, who their real mother and father is, and what their medical history records contain.  It may save their life one day.  

 

’39 Years of Silence’ invites us to look deep inside our own hearts and inner knowing of the soul, as we walk this path of transformation to bring forth our own higher potential and our greatest contributions to the world…as women, as mothers, as daughters and sons, and as enlightened spiritual beings, living a human experience.  I invite Birthmother’s everywhere to stand tall and proud, and to find the courage within your own hearts to speak the Truth, in your own voice that has been hidden, silenced, and held hostage for far too many decades.  My personal mission is to heal and empower Birthmothers and Adopted Children globally to speak out and tell the Truth about their wounds, so they may transform their decades of silence, pain, and suffering into a new decade of liberation, joy, freedom and discovery of their highest self.  

~ ~ ~

 

India Hicks post about my story:

“Rita is one unstoppable gal. Her courage, resilience, tenacity and imagination bowl me over. She proves just how strong and capable we all can be – even when faced with the most terrible misfortune.”

http://blog.indiahicks.com/extraordinary-lives-rita-tanos/

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(photo credit:  www.AndreaDomjanPhotography.com)

 

The Sands of Time…

Taking a peek back while looking forward…

 

Dancing in the Sun - 2016 Photo Credit: Andrea Domjan Photography

(Photo: Andrea Domjan)

 

Sometimes in our lives there is a moment of surprise that takes our breath away.  We recognize the beauty all around us, in this present moment, even through sadness and loss.  The beginning of 2016 was like this for me.  Another Beloved family member had passed through the veils and all I could do was take a deep breath of life, feel gratitude for this present moment, and get on a plane to honor my Uncle Ted’s life with other close family members.  Many of them I had not seen since the passing of my Uncle Sandy at our last family gathering at Arlington National Cemetery. 

 

There was a feeling of peace within me, going home to Florida this time.  I felt such gratitude for my youth and the family and parents I grew up with.  I felt grateful for these beautiful white sandy beaches, and the many years I had spent walking them, often alone, trying to figure out my path and the next steps along my path.  Every day was a day of adventure in the ocean . . . swimming, water-skiing, diving, fishing, and just cruising on boats.  I felt such joy and happiness, just being alive.  All the boats and trips to the Bahamas and Caribbean were a plus, but it was here, in this place and along these white sandy beaches that I felt most at home as a child.

 

I checked in a day early to sit in silence and just feel the environment of my youth once again.  It was raining when I arrived and the decks and walkways leading out to the beach were full of gray mist.  I loved it.  Even in the soft gray of a storm passing, it was beautiful.  Young surfers come out to find a wave which reminded me of my youth on these Florida beaches.  As a young teenage girl I was often hanging out on the end of a surfboard, waiting for the next wave to ride, or the next boat to catch.  Such sweet memories!  Such Golden Moments to cherish and remember.

 

Home Sweet Home - Florida

Home Sweet Home – Florida

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Florida Sands

Florida Sands

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There is much to be Grateful for, as I remember these decades that have passed and all the family members that have gone before me.  They are all a Blessing in my life, and I know for sure that each of them is shining their light upon me from the heavens above.   I feel your Love.  I feel your Light.  I feel your Grace.   

 

Walking ahead...welcoming in the new!

Walking ahead…welcoming in the new!  (Photo: Andrea Domjan)


 

The Ebb and the Flow…

Florida Beaches - A Hole in the Sand...

Florida Beaches – A Hole in the Sand… This is how it is when a Tribe Member leaves you…like a hole in the sand of your lifetime,  it is suddenly gone forever, and the precious time you once shared together is suspended, into another Universe.  All that is left  is the Love inside your Heart that will continue to live on, inside of eternity.  Love is like this.  Love is like that.  It always continues on.

Silken White Slate ~ A New Year is upon us. 2016.

We rest in the arms & wings of Love.

 

Silken White Slate of a New Year.

Silken White Slate of a New Year. 2016.  

 

We rest in the arms of Love.  Safe.  Protected.  Trusting.  All is Well. There are no battles to be fought, no wars to be had, only Peace, Beauty & Love. May we rise higher than we ever have before, in this New Year. May we become all that we are here to become.  May the deepest feelings of Peace & Love be with you now and always.  We have arrived on a Silken White Slate of a New Year.  Every moment holds the extraordinary, and an opportunity to go beyond what you have ever known before.  Shake it up!  Get involved with everything that pulls at your Heart Strings.  And let go.  The creator of the Universe is in the front seat, driving you.  Appreciate the view.  It’s awesome!  Here’s to a Splendid 2016! 

I Believe in Love! I Believe in Kindness! I Believe in Goodness!

I Belive in Love. I Believe in Kindness. I Believe in Goodness.

I Belive in Love.  I Believe in Kindness.  I Believe in Goodness.

 

The Dictionary defines the word ‘Believe’ as:
1) Accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of: • Accept the statement of (someone) as true: he didn’t believe her or didn’t want to know: • have faith: • (believe something of someone) feel sure that (someone) is capable of a particular action: I wouldn’t have believed it—what an extraordinary woman!
2) Hold (something) as an opinion; think or suppose: I believe we’ve already met; things were not as bad as the experts believed. 

The Dictionary defines ‘Belief’ as:
1) An acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists: his belief in the value of hard work | a belief that solitude nourishes creativity: • something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction: • a religious conviction: Christian beliefs| local beliefs and customs. 2) (belief in) trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something: I’ve still got belief in myself.
PHRASES: I am firmly of the belief that we need to improve our… beyond belief astonishingly good or bad; incredible: riches beyond belief…to the best of my belief, in my genuine opinion; as far as I know …blah….blah….blah…! ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

 

Oh La La…!  Beyond anything else, I Believe in Love and the Power of Love that transforms and heals lives.  It is the only thing that actually does.  I also believe in Goodness and Kindness and Gentleness.  Love is Grace and a miraculous power that healed my life at the young age of 17, when I thought it was all over.  All Sentient Beings feel this Power of Love.  Yet so few of us give into it wholeheartedly and completely.  What is it about an innocent child or a dog, or any animal that just loves you completely, and loves life, just as it is, so unconditionally?   It’s an extraordinary experience to witness a baby or a child at play, just as it is with a puppy or a newborn infant.  They only know Love.  They only know sweetness and kindness and goodness.  This is their natural energy field and their pure vibration.  And that Love is unconditional…no matter what else is going on in the world, anywhere.  It is pure LOVE.  

I am not by any means close to the dictionary’s definition of the words ‘Believe’ or “Belief’… but maybe today I am much closer to believing in the Goodness of all, and for all, even after so much heart break and recent killings in America and around the world in 2015.  With each heart break, it takes me to my knees as I witness these children fleeing from their homeland and everything they have ever known.  I feel the collapse of their families and these communities as they all try to find their own way to heal beyond this enormous grief and loss.  Leaving one’s own homeland and culture and family home is hard enough…but to also loose your family and your loved one’s along the way is something else entirely…much harder and more difficult to comprehend, especially for the children. 

My own parent’s experienced this kind of loss as young teenagers leaving their roots, their homes, their family, their Country, their native culture and language to find freedom and save their own lives somewhere else.  From Germany and France to Shanghai, China…there they met on a steamy night in a hot room filled with smoke and hopefulness. World War 2 was in full swing.  And they fell in Love!  It took my Father many more trips around the world and at sea to finally come back to Shanghai and marry my Mother.  But this was not an easy thing to do.  Coming from different Countries with different languages, passports, and religions, not to mention that WW2 was in full swing made it almost impossible.  No matter how sweet and true was their Love for each other, no one wanted to marry them!  It was war time.  They were from different Countries and religious backgrounds.  Finally my father realized that he could marry Mum offshore, three miles out with the Captain of the Ship finally announcing “Husband & Wife”.  And so it was!  As they came back to the shores off Shanghai, they finally had their Wedding Reception in a church that recognized their union as husband & wife.  What an extraordinary experience my Mum & Dad had to go through to prove their Love for each other.  My mother often wondered if he would ever come back for her.  I think it was the dozenth attempt to get married at Sea that finally made it official as Husband & Wife!  I’m certain it was a test of their strength and determination to forge ahead in their Love for each other.  Thank God! 

As for the children fleeing their own Countries now, I pray for them to find a new home that fully accepts them and appreciates them, and allows them to move forward with Grace and Ease…without political turmoil or separation.  Canada seems to be doing a fine job with these immigrants at the moment and far better than anywhere else.  When my own parents married during the war, they were finally free to leave Shanghai and move to America when the war ended.  And so they did!  Off to the shores of New York City as they passed the Statue of Liberty along the way.  Freedom!  I thank God for America and the Greatness of this Country and what it represents to all people.  Yes, we are a pizza pie of many nationalities and cultures from foreign lands, as it should be.  This is what makes America great! 

I know for sure that there is a Force of Love far greater than we can ever imagine in this Universe that is guiding us. Every hope you have and every dream that inspires you is a message from the Divine.  Keep your Heart open, and look up to the heavens every day and give thanks.  Open the curtains and the windows.  Open your Heart to this Present Moment and look inside the eyes of someone near you, close to you. Take the time to gaze inside the eyes of your closest friends and family.  Everyone in front of you is a Blessing, right here and now.  And you have a gift to give them.  

There is infinity and eternity inside our bones and DNA.  In our core essence and inside of our hearts lies an infinity that is greater than what we could ever dream of, or imagine for ourselves.  Allow LOVE to come to your aid.  Invite Joy and Happiness in.  Feel the Gratitude for all that is.  Allow all that is meant for you to flow freely, inside your Heart, Mind, Body & Soul. 

We are so Blessed to be here on this gorgeous planet Earth, in this moment of time.  There is a Divine pattern working in and through us… and whether we are aware of it or not, this is the sacred and unknown tapestry, the mystery, weaving everyday Miracles in our lives.   If we sit quietly long enough, this Divine Energy will arrive inside our conscious awareness, and stillness will bring us into the fullness.  Peace.  Beauty. 

Every new revelation and every new awareness in our consciousness keeps us growing, evolving, learning, and most importantly, it keeps us moving forward as a human species.  Even when it’s a hard day, or week, or month or even a year or so,…someone, somewhere is suffering much more than you.  Give it up.  Let go.  Get involved and help others.  It’s the only way out of your own personal rut.  Give back, even when you think you can’t… just do it!

I sometimes reflect on the mass killings on American soil and abroad this past year.  What is this all about?  Why are young children so angry?  Is anyone listening to them?  Is their voice being heard?  Are their feelings being felt and acknowledged and understood?  Where does their anger and hatred come from?  Any why?   What are we teaching our children?  And what are we doing with all these guns?  Guns = Killing.  Period.  What are we doing with a massive stockpile of guns on American soil that any young child can buy?  Why?  What do we need to protect ourselves from?  If fear is of your utmost concern, then that fear is also your enemy. It is fear, and fear alone, that will drive sane men and women to commit heinous acts of violence they did not think they were humanly capable of.  It happens every day.  College campuses, churches, cafes, offices, streets, sporting events, music concerts…high schools & elementary schools, on and on.

 

It’s a choice:  Fear or Love.  What’s it going to be?  What will you choose?  Do you need the gun to kill your neighbor before he kills you?  Is this what it’s come to?  Protection idealism can also equate to human ignorance.   What is your belief? 

Fear contricts, limits, and closes up everything.  It builds borders and walls that create more hate, more separation, and more violence and misunderstanding.  Do you want to build another ‘Berlin wall’ on American soil?  One of our Presidential candidates thinks it’s a good idea! I thought we were done with the days of Hitler’s past. What are we doing now?  God Help Us!  We need a Leader in the U.S., someone like Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, and Robert F. Kennedy all in one to lead us out of this disgrace and narrow minded thinking.  Lift us up, away from fear! 

Fear is an energy that resides in your consciousness.  It’s in the way you think.  It’s in the way you act and behave.  It’s in the core of your cells and the flow of your bloodstream, and that fear will not leave you until you change your thoughts and conscious awareness.  Love above all else.  Let go of your frozen fear.  It’s keeping you stuck, and it’s killing too many young and innocent children, tearing families apart at their seams.  Fear is full of destruction and death. Love is full of inclusion, creativity, and birth.  

What does it take to open up your Heart?  Why have you lost so much Trust and Faith?  What do you Believe in, and at your core heart center, what is really important to you?  Isn’t it always about the children and grandchildren and your core family and friends you’ve adopted into your family?  What are your Beliefs?  What is your Truth?  Examine them. Look at your core beliefs carefully. Make sure they are in alignment with the Divine, and with real Truth and Goodness and Kindness.  Every teacher and every day brings a different perspective, depending on whom your teachers are, and with whom you surround yourself with.  

What’s it going to be….Love or Fear?

What is Truth but a Belief in something that you Believe in?  Yet in all of our glory and in all of our beautiful days on this glorious planet Earth, I do Believe in Divine Grace, and Beauty, and the Power of Goodness and Kindness at the Heart of every human being, and throughout the animal kingdom. There is a sacred pattern and natural flow in everything. In the very core essence of my Being and in the center of my Bones and DNA, as it is in you.  This beautiful and magnificent Life Lives me, Breathes me, and Gifts me with Love, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness every day!  And I am Grateful.  Life is living me from the inside out.

 

Reflecting back on this year, as we now approach the coming of a New Year, 2016, I can’t help but think about the families and friends across America and distant Shores and Countries that have lost Loved One’s.  The neighborhood senseless killings, the brutal attacks in public places, the innocents that just happened to be there at that moment, the horror of guns and war and violence, and the latest uprising of angry, heartless, almost soul-less and desperate people who kill other people for no reason.  This is human insanity!  Who is teaching our children? What are they teaching our children?

 

Is it a ‘firmly held opinion or conviction’ of something taught long ago in our childhood, or is it an original idea of something new?   Is it an ‘old belief’ to help us feel more secure that creates the possibility of a particular action? And what is that action?  Will it help to heal and serve in the name of Love and Human Kindness, or will it kill and destroy?  What is my belief?  What is your belief?  How do you want to show up in this New Year, 2016?  Hopefully in Full Magnificence, owning your own power through the Divine with Grace, Gratitude, and Beauty as you give of your own unique Gifts you have been given. 

 

I Believe in the Power of LOVE.   I Believe in Kindness.  I Believe in Goodness. I also Believe in a Universal Power far greater than myself…a Power that aligns with all the Planets and gives us the Gift of our next Breath, along with the Sun, the Moon, the Stars, and the Oceans.  Every Day!  God is Present.  God is Almighty.  It is only the human being that destroys, destructs and decimates the fragile, the voiceless, and the weak who are unable to care for or protect themselves.  This is our human ignorance.  And it must change in 2016 if we are to evolve as a human species and recognize the sacredness of all life and the enormous gifts we have been given.  Look up.  Look around you.  The Earth, Nature and the Animals will no longer tolerate our selfishness and abuse.  Above all else, we as Spiritual Beings, living a Human experience must change our consciousness and evolve.  It is time.  And the time is NOW.  In a few hours we will enter inside the silky clean slate of a New Year, without anything written upon it.  May we create a new history of our human consciousness, one that is awake, aware, and respectful of all Life.  Sacred Blessings to all in 2016!

 

 

 

 

 

Little Buddha Dog – A short Love Story about a Woman’s Best Friend & their last day together

In Honor of my Beloved Countess, my Little Buddha Dog who passed on this day, April 8, 2011.  You are always living inside my Heart.

Countess was my greatest teacher of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.  If you have ever Loved or Cared for a Dog, then this short Love Story will touch your Heart.

Available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Click here for Amazon link

#‎SoftCoatedWheatenTerrier‬  – Website:  LittleBuddhaDog.com 

Little Buddha Dog

I Carry Your Heart

I Carry Your Heart, My Sweet  ~  Happy Birthday!

 

I Carry Your Heart

 

I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.

I am never without it, anywhere I go you go, my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling,

I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet,

I want no world, for beautiful you are my world, my true

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide,

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.

  ~ E. E. Cummings

Each Friend Represents a World in Us. . .

 

Honey Moons & Friendship

Honey Moon – June 12/13, 2014

 

The Honey Moon

The Honey Moon

 

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

         – Anais Nin

 

That’s how it was with us. . . We were a world unto each other and by the Grace of Divine Destiny, our paths crossed long ago and united us on a journey of the Soul. A long journey of friendship, love, deep connection and soul companionship that blended us together and joined us as One. How is it that my heart can break like this. . . over and over again?  So many deaths in my life, all in such a short time.

I don’t think I can bear it anymore, not even for another second.  My heart is split wide open, with too much pain and grief.  I feel this loss deeply and profoundly.  Have you ever lost a Beloved Best Friend that was closer to you than your own family?  Who knew you from the inside out?  Bare, dark corners and all that lay hidden inside, from the rest of the world.  There is an emptiness inside of me, like a part of my heart has been cut wide open and taken out of me.  I feel completely empty and alone.

While I know that the Soul is eternal, I am in the thickness of this empty forest right now, stuck inside this thorn bush, feeling the heat and slice of this sharp edge.  It cuts me to the core.  My heart bleeds.  Throbs.  Cries.  Rivers of tears flow, and I allow them.  This is grief.  This is loss.  This is the painful knowing that this beautiful and magnificent soul and friend I once could embrace and talk with for hours, sharing and bearing the deepest parts of my soul, is gone.  She was a world unto me that filled me up with delight and surprise, and created new dimensions of space inside my mind and heart, soul and spirit.  She was an architect of my soul’s evolution as we shared, uncovered, built and re-built the stories of the past, present and future.  We dreamed.  We imagined.  We laughed.  We cried.  We howled.  We thought.  We prayed.  We meditated.  We wept.  We walked.  We talked.  We constructed and de-constructed a million pounds of weight that no longer belonged to either of us, in both of our worlds.  We excavated.  We created demolition zones where they needed to be.  We built fortresses and safe camps when we needed them, and then we softly let them go when we did not.

This is the gift we shared.  The unconditional Love and Acceptance of each other, in all ways, always.  No judgement.  No attitude.  No opinion.  No structure.  No walls.  No expectations.  No belief systems.  Just clear, open space to be truly and authentically who we were and how we are, with each other.  This was the deep embrace of our Friendship.  This loving space was always there, forever Present, and always inviting us to go inside of it.  It was the world we shared inside of our Friendship with each other, where new worlds were possible and often created. 

Driving home tonight, I saw the brilliant Orange Sun behind me, like an orb of Golden, Orange Light. . . bigger than the biggest Sunset I have ever seen setting in the West.  In front of me was the Honey Moon, lingering so low and so close to my face, I felt I could reach out and touch it.  To my East were the beautiful dark mountains and shadows, and to my West was the Pacific Ocean, nearing the end of it’s Sunset.  Just before I left on this drive and journey home, a young Asian woman came up to me and embraced me like an old, sweet friend.  We had met once before and she noticed my sorrow.  I shared your photograph with her and told her of your recent passing.  She said, “She’s here with you right now. . . I can feel her” as tears streamed down her face.  I knew it was you, my sweet friend, in this moment, coming here to embrace me this night, in this human form of this charming young woman who knew I needed a hug from you.

 

Soul Sisters ~

My Beloved Friend & Soul Sister ~ Adrienne Grayson

My Beloved Friend &
Soul Sister ~
Adrianne Grayson

 

Soul Sisters ~

Some of us get really lucky in our lives . . . We are Blessed by a Soul Sister that Loves us unconditionally and for many years.  I was Blessed by my Beloved Friend & Soul Sister, Adrianne Grayson, whom I learned today passed through the veils of life to the doorway of death.  She was one of my Angels that lifted me up when my wings had forgotten how to fly.  At some of the darkest moments in my life, she was there, holding me with her Love.

No distance or lapse of time can lessen the Love or the Friendship we shared.  She lives on inside my Heart. Eternal is her Spirit.  As she rests with the Divine, I am eternally grateful for the many years of Love and Friendship we shared.  Times of Sacred Connection, times of Soul Companionship, times of healing, times of deep sharing and compassion, times of long and deep conversations, times of joy and laughter, times of reflection, times of Grace and Beauty, and times of just sitting together in silence, praying and meditating.

The greatest gift my Friend & Soul Sister, Adrianne gave to me, was her unconditional Love.  It was felt in the deepest parts of my being.  She knew me at my core.  I knew her at her core.  We were always there for each other, and in all ways, always.  How rare a friend. How special a companion on this journey of Life.  We honored each other with the gift of a Friendship so rare and true.

Adrianne represents to me what ‘True Beauty from Within’ is all about.  Radiant.  Joyful.  Loving.  Kind.  Generous.  Caring.  Compassionate.  Beautiful.  Charming.  At Peace.  A bright light of Love in my life. Shine on my sweet Beloved Friend & Soul Sister.  You will always be with me, living inside my Heart.

https://www.facebook.com/TrueBeautyBeginsFromWithin

http://www.TrueBeautyBeginsFromWithin.com 

 

To Have & To Have Not

May 30, 2014

To Have and Have Not

What would you do in the name of Love?

What would you do in the name of Love?

To Have and Have Not…

There she was….crouched down in between the sushi bar sign and the one for Italian food and Budweiser…. I couldn’t help but notice her as I walked outside the sushi bar. Almost hidden from sight in her low posture and yet glaringly present. In a world between worlds.

What brings a woman to this place? To this posture of crouching down and hiding? What are her secrets that lie hidden behind the veils? What happened to her? Why is she so desperately seeking help? My heart throbs and pounds. My mind races into a million possibilities. And then, in this present moment, I just accept her and acknowledge her. I shift from wanting to be her savior to just being fully present, in this moment. All I feel is Love and Compassion for this woman.

As I sat at the Sushi Bar a few moments ago, I noticed how small my portion was that would feed and satisfy me. It was Beautiful! Two small pieces of Sushi would do it. And I also noticed the couple next to me that were gorging on every item on the menu. I asked myself, ‘How can they eat so much food when children are starving’? I know it’s not a pleasant thought, but none the less, it was that thought that appeared in my mind as I watched them eat for a family of 10. I wondered….what are they starving from? Is it lack of connection…lack of Love…..lack of what? I had no idea. I just felt compelled to order my check and go. So I did.

As I walked outside, here was this beautiful woman crouching inside the mercy of the Gods, asking for help. From one extreme of over-eating to the other extreme of poverty and homelessness lies the secret ingredient. Love. Compassion. Care. Sharing. Giving. Receiving.

What does it take to take care for one another? What can we do to stop the greed and massive consumption of ‘over everything’ to sharing what we have? How do we peel back the eyelids of unconsciousness and act from our Hearts? It’s all about Consciousness and Awareness. It’s all about the opening of the mind and heart, long enough to witness and feel the pain and suffering all around us. It’s all about realizing there is enough for everyone, every day, every moment.

Who is in front of you, and in your local neighborhood, right here, right now that needs your help? What can you offer from your heart, your soul, and your pocket? What can you share that needs to be shared right now?

Perhaps it’s a meal, or a warm bath and bed for the night. Perhaps it’s your open heart that listens well to a story of their lives that has never been told. Perhaps it’s a warm embrace. Perhaps it’s just money in their pocket. And just perhaps, it’s something more…something that will change that persons life forever and make it better.

What I know for sure is that every human being is longing for Love and Acceptance. So if, for just a moment. you could step out or your ordinary, into the extraordinary, what would you do for Love?

Abundantly Adorned Beautiful Child

Abundantly Adorned Beautiful Child

The Love Doves – Easter 2014

Easter 2014

Easter 2014

The Love Doves – Easter 2014

 

The Doves arrived early this Spring.  The first few days of March I began hearing their sweet coo’s in the very early morning hours.  Such a sweet reminder each year that new life is bursting forth everywhere.

 

Five years ago they built their first nest here, and every Spring they return to my Mother’s home.  It’s a precious reminder of Love and new Life.  I am comforted by the knowing that these two Doves have mated for life and find their way back here every Spring, to nest once again and give birth to new Life.

 

Somehow they know me by now and trust me just a little bit more. They allow me to come close enough to see them and watch them drink water. Every morning I hear the mother cooing ~ longing for food and the comfort and security of her mate.  He eventually comes and delivers her a meal and hangs around long enough to know she is OK.  Every afternoon, late in the day, he returns again to check in on his mate and delivers her evening meal.  As I watched him drink fresh water from the flower planter lid that I had just filled, he flew up into the tree and just stood there on a nearby branch, looking at me as he cooed.  It was so sweet!

 

These are the simple and beautiful things that bring me Joy each year.  They remind me of the cycles and rhythms of life, even when I don’t always feel I am in perfect balance and harmony with my own life.  These last few years have felt so incredibly challenging.  The old ways of living no longer apply to my life.  I have left them behind, along with the weight they carried.  It was just too heavy to hold onto any longer.  So I just let go.

 

Living inside the vortex of emptiness and the unknowing is often equally challenging. Sometimes I feel like my roadmap is an empty canvas and I am holding the compass in my hand without a specific direction or destination in mind. It appears I am to blaze new trails that have not been traveled before.  At least by me. I am trusting my Heart and the Divine to lead me to where I am destined to go. I don’t know where that is right now.  But I do know that my Heart will lead me in the right direction.  

 

I have let go of the busyness of life and my focus and attention is inward, inside my Heart and Soul.  Whatever arises I give my attention to, and I let go of all the rest.  Somewhere inside this silence is a deep Peace and inner Beauty that invites Harmony and Blessings everyday.  I Trust it.  And I know that it is true.  True to my own self. True to the guidance of the Divine.   

 

I have died to my former self and in this transformation I am free, liberated, powerful and victorious.  And like the Love Doves, I am restored and uplifted every Spring with new Life.  No matter what the circumstances, I am uplifted, restored, and renewed. My Heart is open as I rest in Oneness.  It is this Love, this Divine Love that is the greatest harmonizing force in the Universe, and it is always nudging me forward, each and every day.

 

Thank God for the Love Doves! Thank God for Spring returning each year!  Thank God for the simple and Beautiful Blessings of Life.  Thank God for LOVE !

 

Love Doves

Love Doves