Who is there?

Who is really there for you?

 

 

At the end of the end, when all is said and done and the days and nights are long, who is really there for you, beside you? . . . Loving you with a warm embrace, a cup of loving kindness, and a heart full of love, gentleness, and understanding.  I think it is left to each of us alone, as we must find ourselves inside of our own heart of hearts, and to embrace our lives with tender loving kindness. No matter the scar, the confusion, the pain or the people, or the situation. It is up to us to help ourselves get through the grief and the pain, to the other side. Where the light is. That is what matters most…where the light is.

 

There really is no one out there to help us, but ourselves. Our own sweet spirit, our own beautiful heart and mind, and the love we so deeply carry inside of us. It is the purest form of medicine we have available to us, to help us heal from any wound. It is inside us.

 

I’ve noticed since the passing of my Beloved Mother, who was the person closest to me throughout my lifetime, that there were few friends who showed up to be with me…to stand with me…to sit in silence with me, and to love me when I needed their love the most. One of them was there for Mom’s Memorial Service and visitations for a couple months afterwards, but since then total silence.  Another friend was not available for the first six months, and when she returned to visit recently, it seemed to be all about her and her life and needs. I felt almost invisible.

I am most grateful for those who did appear and sat by my side in these most difficult moments of grief.  Even if I don’t understand their silence, I do know that silence is pure.  

At the beginning of this year when my journey of grief began again, I was given these words that have helped me every day. They are posted above my nose on the front of my desk, so I read them every morning and afternoon. (I don’t remember who sent them to me, but I think it was Moon Omens.)

“No one is coming to save you. To give you permission To choose you. To validate you. This has always been your job.  You have to love yourself so fiercely that you have no other choice but to be strong for yourself, to fight for yourself, to be yourself, and to build yourself.  It’s time for you to get excited and fall in love with your life all over again.  There is so much being divinely orchestrated for you behind the scenes. Trust you are supported. If you could see what was coming, you would not be doubting what is next. You’ve come this far, be happy, raise the vibration and jump for joy. Visualize your desired outcome and know that it is definitely possible. The Universe and the Divine have got your back and always will.”

Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing Sweeter than a Mother’s Love!

Mom.  She meant the world to me. In every way!

 

 

She was the light of my life, the glue that held me together through thick and thin, through all the years. She was the inspiration for so many of my dreams.  She always had my back, and made me laugh and cry… sometimes in the same afternoon and minutes apart. All the time. She had extraordinary charm and wit that sent waves of love and laughter wherever she was.  And she was also difficult, and at times, not easy to understand. Mom lived an extraordinary life, from Berlin, to Shanghai, to New York, to Miami Beach, to California. What she left behind are the extraordinary memories of a love so deep. So special. So profound. So close. Mom was my best friend.

She traveled the globe, but no matter how far she went, she always came back to where the love was closest to her heart. I will miss her forever. There is no other love like a Mother’s Love. It is eternal and elegant.

I’ve not been able to bring myself here for a very long time, until tonight…to write about Mom and her passing through the veils.  It was on a late evening in mid-January, just before my birthday. She was in hospice care at home, and I had been taking care of her for a long time. But this last year of her life was different than any other. And she knew it too. Something was wrong, and she kept telling me she felt different. I knew it too. After so many doctor appointments, brain scans, blood tests, and trips to the ER, one of her doctors finally admitted that she suffered from a slight stroke and suggested I take her home and love her as best I can for the rest of her life. We did that, not knowing how long we would have together. It wasn’t long.

Auf Wiedersehen, liebste Mutter.  I carry your heart with me, inside my heart. Every day. Every where I am, you are always with me. 

I don’t know how I have survived these last six months without you close to me. There were times I did not think I would make it through another day, another moment, to the other side of grief. Grace stepped in and I let go of it all. Feeling the feelings and acceptance was the first step. 

My entire life changed forever when it was your last day. Silence. Stillness. Death. Witnessing your crossing over, through the veils, from life to heaven’s gate. Ever since that moment my world was turned upside down, inside out. I am like a spinning circle that never stops spinning, and never knows what each day brings to the compass point I land on. All I know is that there is an emptiness here, that I have never known before and I feel this immense heartache of loss. And I know it is all about our love.

I know that I will heal from the depths of this grief and losing you, as I feel you are with me, guiding me every day. I still rise to greet you every morning, as I look at your photograph and smiling eyes. And then I smile too.

Thank God we shared so many beautiful years together, and so many travels around the world.  These memories carry me through, and carry me forward. I will always miss you, but I know that wherever I go, you go too. You are inside my heart, and I carry your heart with me always. Everywhere. 

Thank you Mom for your Love and eternal Blessings of kindness. Thank you for Life! Goodbye my Darling Mother, my liebste Mutter. Auf Wiedersehen. 

I’ll see you on the other side when I arrive someday and embrace you with all my heart and soul.

Forever & Always,

XO Rita

 

 

 

 

 

The Time is Now: A New Decade – Hello 2020

The Wheels keep turning…

 

Strike of Midnight:

12/31/2019

Time for change and welcoming extraordinary blessings in this New Decade.  Hello 2020!

It’s that time of year when you fall in love…the week between Christmas and the New Year that feels fresh, new, and crisp with possibility. It’s the ending of a decade as we approach the cusp of a new year and decade. Hello and welcome in the 2020’s!

Some of us have fallen in and out of love…some of us have started new careers and ended old ones. Some of us have said goodbye to old patterns, behaviors, beliefs, and lifestyles while some of us have let it all go in a flash. Some of us are praying into something unseen and unknown, completely new and unexpected, with perhaps unimaginable blessings. And some of us stay behind, held hostage to the past. Some of us imagine what could be, and some of us judge what should be. And some of us believe in miracles and magic and trust the divine timing of the Universe to deliver us to the love we long for, and the life we imagine ourselves living.

All of it. Every bit of it is sacred, beautiful and profound. Even our distress and dark moments as we feel and witness our shadow self. It is to be embraced, like everything else.  Time and the rolling forward of a clock does not change us. It simply reminds us that our life is short and our time here is temporary. Our consciousness and our awareness in this present moment of living always brings us back inside the center of ourselves. 

 

 

Doors open and close throughout our lifetimes. Love comes and goes. Relationships come and go. Friendships come and go. Our work changes, our life changes, our relationships change, our homes change.  We go on, sometimes confused and sometimes brilliantly inspired – from closeness to separation – and sometimes if we are lucky, we come back to each other in a more beautiful way.

This is life. This is living. There really is no roadmap. Perhaps we’ve invested in a coach in the past whom we thought could get us through our blockage, but in fact the only person who could get us through the shadow was our own self. Perhaps a therapist could help along the way, and sometimes they do – but it in the end – it’s all up to YOU.  No one has power over your brain, your heart, your mind, your imagination, your experiences, and your memories…only you sweetheart. Only YOU.  And it’s up to each of us to step up and see clearly, feel deeply, and honor, recognize, support, and acknowledge all that we are and have been through. I know of no one who has not gone through enormous challenges and heart wrenching stories of their lives, only to finally speak their Truth and share it. No one. We are all wounded, we are all lovable and loving, and we are all magnificent! It’s the glory and the story of life. No one escapes it. And eventually we move on… upwards, forward, and onwards to our new experiences of living our lives. Beautifully.

 

 

As I reflect back on the 2000’s and feel the presence and power of possibilities in the 2020’s, I think about young people who have influenced me and our world with the greatest messages of hope and love. Greta Thunberg is the first who comes to mind. There is inspiration in her voice about the global climate emergency.  So much change is needed in the world today and it all starts with heart and consciousness. Large corporations and political sidings will never get us there. It’s about the people… ‘We the people’ as the clock strikes midnight and is about to shift forward to a new decade, we must all take action and move forward.

 

 

I pray we are smart enough as humans, and intelligent enough to take action now.  The voices of the youth have been heard around the world. But without action and changes in our everyday lives, behaviors and lifestyles, nothing will happen. More importantly, the carbon emissions are much more of a political and economic issue than any other. How fast can they shift their way of thinking and board votes into global wind farms and solar instead of gasoline, etc.? There is no way out…there is only a way in to a consciousness that is above and beyond the bottom line of economic growth charts. 

 

We the people can speak up and make our voices heard. It is the only thing that has ever changed history and the course of action for the good of all. One small voice. One small person. Greta is a perfect example of this. So is Mother Theresa. And it is time. It is a new decade. It is a new era.  We are on the cusp of this planets greatest climate emergency in 2020 that is caused by human ignorance.  There is no other time to act, but now.

What are you waiting for?  The Time is now, today.